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http://stereogum.com/archives/video/jeff-mangum-performs-in-nyc_027371.html

i can't even
omg
please just please let me see you play someday

love,
breezy

how to ruin your long weekend

1. go to sleep friday night
2. wake up really sick
3. call in sick for work saturday morning
4. sleep till the afternoon
5. have vague memories of shaking and sweating and calling arienette to cancel plans
6. sleep till 10:30 PM. get really confused about what day it is. let dad make me chicken soup (this is quite nice actually)
7. do nothing till 3Am because i can't sleep.
8. wake up sunday morning at like, 10. don't go to victoria with friends. don't have fun. feel angry at body.

at least i can eat now!

love,
breezy

raise high the roof beam, carpenters.

If or when I do start going to an analyst, I hope to God he has the foresight to let a dermatologist sit in on consultation. A hand specialist. I have scars on my hands from touching certain people. Once, in the park, when Franny was still in the carriage, I put my hand on the downy pate of her head and left it there too long. Another time, at Loew's Seventy-Second Street, with Zooey during a spooky movie. He was about six or seven, and he went under the sear to avoid watching a scary scene. I put my hand on his head. Certain heads, certain colors and textures of human hair leave permanent marks on me. Other things, too. Charlotte once ran away from me, outside the studio, and I grabbed her dress to stop her, to keep her near me. A yellow cotton dress I loved because it was too long for her. I still have a lemon-yellow mark on the palm of my right hand....

After dinner Mrs. Fedder suggested we listen to the program. Her enthusiasm, her nostalgia for the program, especially for the old days when Buddy and I were on it, makes me uneasy. Tonight it was broadcast from some navel airbase, of all places, near San Diego. Much to many pedantic questions and answers. Franny sounded as though she had a head cold. Zooey was in dreamy top form. The announcer had them off on the subject of housing developments, and the little Burke girl said she hated houses that all look alike- meaning a long row of identical 'development' houses. Zooey said they were 'nice.' He said it would be very nice to come home and be in the wrong house. To eat dinner with the wrong people by mistake, sleep in the wrong bed by mistake, and kiss everybody goodbye in the morning thinking they were your own family. He said he even wished everybody in the world looked exactly alike. He said you'd keep thinking everybody you met was your wife or your mother or father, and people would always be throwing their arms around each other wherever they went, and it would look 'very nice.'

i love love love

why do you let me stay here?- she & him
this is not a test- she & him
sweet darlin'- she & him

oh my.

MGMT's video, the youth. god i wish i was alive and mobile during the nineties.

its all grey matter

i don't know. everything feels so wierd when i'm sick and i feel strangely independent skipping school and walking and i just want to be an actress and i just want my life to work out well and have never ending euphoria but everything and everyone is so shallow and silly and i'm so moody and grumpy and sick and hypocritical

i hate when the good things in life turn into habits which turn into boring
its hard being happy all the time obviously.

i don't know. i never know.
breezy

p.s. i'm going to arienettes for thanksgiving so expect pictures without our faces but with our souls sometime soon

my girl, my girl

nirvana - where did you sleep last night (unplugged)
this may have already been posted about
had a nice conversation with my brain twin about this song and the rawness and intensity and how terrified you'd be if it was being sung about you
kurt cobain was terrifically hot and probably crazy

happy happy busy busy love love
breezy